Take it from someone who sees A LOT of weddings and guests…there are so many things that guests should be mindful of. We are happy to shed some light on Guest Etiquette for weddings, so the next time you attend a wedding, you are aware.
First and foremost, unless your invitation is address to you AND a guest, please do not bring a plus one or your family members. It puts everyone in an uncomfortable position having to make an adjustment last minute, including that uninvited guest. They most likely won’t have a place card or seat at the table, so it wastes time making room for them in the middle of your reception. Giving a bit more time to prepare, but still unwarranted, we once had a groomsman text the groom when he and his plus one were at the airport the day before the wedding…and the groomsman was never given a plus one.
Next, you are probably given all of the information you need prior to the wedding via the couple’s wedding website or invitation or welcome bag. Please read it and DO NOT text the couple on the wedding weekend unless you are in the wedding party. They have enough going on and don’t need guests asking them silly questions. This includes knowing the dress code and following it. If the website says formal, you know that you have to get a long dark dress for the occasion. Also, do not ‘show up’ the couple with something really flashy that makes everyone look at you and not the couple. Be respectful and follow the couple’s wishes or do not attend.
As a planner, the biggest piece of guest etiquette that we can offer is to be on time! There is nothing we hate more than starting late, as it pushes back our entire timeline. We know that there are some cultures where things “are just going to be late”, and we can work with that ahead of time. But as an attending guest, make sure you’re mindful of traffic, travel, distance, how long it takes you to get ready, etc. If you are going to be late, don’t be upset when you are told to wait outside the church or ceremony space until the couple has made it down the aisle. Nothing is more rude than someone trying to “sneak in” after the parents have walked down the aisle.
Once you’re dressed properly and on time with your correct amount of invited guests, make sure you represent yourself (and the couple) responsibly. Of course, you want to celebrate and have a good time, but it is very poor guest etiquette (not to mention embarassing for you and the couple) to overindulge at a wedding. We have had cases where law enforcement or security have had to get involved and it’s just not a cute look for such a happy occasion!
Something that we should mention, that we know guests can’t help themselves from doing (it happens every wedding) is bothering the couple the second they sit down to eat their meal. We know you “just want to say hi real quick”, but that’s the only time they will get to sit and relax and EAT together all night, and don’t need anyone coming up to them for a photo-you have hours after dinner to do that. We like to make sure that our couples actually eat at their wedding 😉
While we don’t see all of these at every wedding, we see enough to compile this short list. We hope this list of guest etiquette at weddings will help you when attending your next wedding!
